18 December 2009

Guest Blogging, 1 win, 1 embarassing loss.

J-Rock, I'm kind of wondering how you let this garbage get through.

I was going to simply post this in the comments, but I realized the overwhelming majority of the post made absolutely no sense and I found myself typing far too much to simply sit below the previous post by THJ. Here, I offer my rebuttal.

First: Your assessment of Bertuzzi. No. Plain wrong. Objectively so. Dude goes on a one-week scoring streak and you've decided he's a scoring machine. You're hoping he'll be strong both with and without the puck? Hm. See, this is the dude that NEVER checks. Despite being a monster, he's decided impact would just be terrible. He's gotta stay healthy to earn that paycheck to sign right the fuck over to Steve Moore.

And lots of love for Pavel, eh. Why? The guy's been outstandingly weak. He's on a 64 point pace. 64. In the last four games: not one goal. Only nine shots. He's not the reason we've been winning by any stretch of the imagination. The key to the game tomorrow, is the same exact key that has won us our last four: the grinders. Pavel won't do it... he hasn't and there's no reason to think he'll turn that around tomorrow. Bertuzzi sure as shit won't. For every goal, he's got several turnovers. He's not a "put the team on his back" kind of guy. Period. Your hardon for the guy has clouded your already pathetic judgment.

More out of Lidstrom? Sure. I'd like to see him light the lamp with more frequency. Though, he's kind of busy making sure Pavel losing the puck every time he's in the offensive zone as he tries to muscle it up the perimiter or Bertuzzi's dumbass spin-o-rama passes to nowhere don't lead to automatic goals against. As far as his defensive play is concerned? You couldn't be more wrong. He's been an outstanding defensive force. Always in position. Always working hard. Bertuzzi and Pavel have been "such a good combination" and you'd like to see more out of Lidstrom? You should not be allowed to have opinions... they're just god damn stupid.

And then you want to trash on Ozzie, and start blowing up Tim fucking Thomas? Really? Your manchub for that guy makes less sense than your love for the washed up piece of lazy-skating garbage that is Bertuzzi. Tim Thomas's empty motherfucking trophycase is signed for a cap hit of $5 million dollars. Ozzie? $1.5. Peter Budaj money. So trash on Ozzie if you need to, but the guy has rings. The guy is the absolute best playoff goaltender of the past decade. Your Timmy Thomas can't boast that. No other goalie can. It's Ozzie's.

And who the fuck are you to say the best GM in sports should have taken your advice? No. Not at all. Tell me Mr. Genius fuck manager, after we signed Tim Thomas, who would you like to have playing in another jersey? Datsyuk? Zetterberg? The Mule? Lidstrom? That's what it'd take. Ergo, dumb idea. Purely. Ozzie has given us the opportunity to contend literally every year and morons like you throw him under the bus year in and year out. Unacceptable.

Know and be sure that when playoffs roll around: The Great and Powerful Wizzard of Oz will take the blue ice. No doubt. So no, Howard is not the be-all end-all starter. He's being given the opportunity to show the management what he's got. To be tested. He's performing much better than I ever thought he would, but there's no reason to think he's got all the reins. Right now, he's sitting on Daddy's lap, allowed to steer the family Buick down an empty stretch of desert highway. That's about it.

Gross. Failure. Epic stupidity.

Oh yeah... and if you ever say "Honky-tonk Hank Zetterberg" again, I will tear out your heart and feed it to Steve Ott. Take that.

It's fun to be a tremendously mean person.


  1. Ha, the garbage got through so our readers could dismantle it... but looks like you have taken control of those duties and flushed them down the proper receptacle. Every blog needs a little argument and drama right? lol. No but really I agree with every assessment you made.... kudos.

  2. Oh, and the next person to use "honky-tonk" and Z in the same sentence will receive a nice firm kick in the balls courtesy of TheWingedWheel.

  3. As for not hitting anyone, whens the last time you saw Nick Lidstrom even touch another player in an aggressive fashion? He doesnt hit, never has never will. i dont buy the argument that "he's in such good position that he doesnt have to hit." No, when you have a check, you finish it every time. no exceptions, well except for lidstrom, he does not follow through with checks. while that might have worked when your forward line was The Captain Sergei and Shanny it aint gonna work with Z. Mule and Cleary hurt. Yet despite the fact that physical contact with another player doesnt happen at all with Nick he gets your praise, He doesnt score (this season at least) and has had one of his worst seasons on record statistically, when you make Brad Stuart look like the powerhouse of our defense, you're doing something wrong. I'm sorry but there comes a time when a great player stops being the top level player they were 5 years ago. he's not playing at a level where he will win another Norris again. Ever.

    Bertuzzi damn near alone has got us 6 points as i remember. one S/O winner and 2 OT GWGs. That IS put the team on my back and carry it performance. He is second in shots only to Zetterberg. Like it or not Bertuzzi is on a tear and if he continues on it could become a dominant scorer within this team. coming from a smashmouth garbage system like the Flamers to Detroit, to a more refined system it makes sense it takes him 30 games to find his stride.

    as for Howard, i didn't say he would unseat Ozzie, in fact i specifically said start until the playoffs. Ozzie hasn't played like a starting goaltender all year. And as for Thomas, he signed with Boston to a 5M cap hit contract, however, i would bet a significant sum of money if given an offer by the Red Wings, he would accepted much less. Even if he did sign for 5m, i would have rather had him instead of Hossa last year. and for who i would have let go? Stuart. 3.2M cap hit for WHAT exactly?!?! we could train Ryno or another one of the griffins duds to be a pylon on the ice. id trade his goldbricking ass Tampa or Floria

    and as far as the grinders winning the games, of course they do. because if you have super-star talent, you let that win games, if say 9 out of your 18 starters are hurt, you let the grinders win. in hockey you beat them with an overload of talent, or your bash a win out with grit. our talent is busted, to the point where as good as it gets is Bertuzzi and Pavel.

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  5. Just dumb. Literally the dumbest thing I've ever witnessed ever come from you. Are you really making an argument that Lidstrom doesn't play good defense? Because literally every thinking person on the entire planet earth disagrees. ALL OF THEM. He's the cornerstone to this team. Stuart gets the attention because he throws the big hits, and is focusing on the offense now. But the fact that you can rarely, if EVER, point to a mistake by Captain Norris... that means something. It doesn't matter if you "don't buy" the argument that his positioning means he doesn't have to throw his body around. The fact is, every thinking person to watch the sport has come to the same conclusion: he doesn't have to. Finishing checks in a the defensive zone means there are TWO players taken out of the play. One of them being your BEST D-Man. Bertuzzi on the other hand... he's SUPPOSED to be a power forward. He used to barrel through people on the forecheck. NOW? His head is fucked up and he can't manage. Just can't bring himself into playing to his potential.

    Also, remind yourself that Bertuzzi does this every damn year. You are willing to declare him the best player on our team because he's been hot for a WEEK. Before that? NOTHING. LITERALLY NOTHING. That counts for something dipshit. When you get more goals in two games than you managed in the more than the previous 20... that means you are NOT a powerhouse. It means you are streaky. I don't seem to recall you ever declaring Happy Hudler our lord and savior. The fact is, you made a bullshit guess based on NOTHING that Bertuzzi would be great. Now that there is very little evidence to that end in the last few games, you're trumpeting it like you knew it all along. Well, take into consideration the entire year. Very few points for a power forward skating next to either Pavel Datsyuk or Hank Zetterberg all year...

    And a fair point about Howard and Ozzie regarding the playoffs. You're right there. But for Thomas? No. One, you can't just assume he'd sign for a few million less to play in Detroit. Considering the Bruins became his "hometown" team after they drafted him... that's where that discount would most likely go. Plus, remember the old idiom, recited for ages and ages (not really): If hopes and wishes were skanks and bitches, we'd all be knee deep in 'tang.

    Finally, if you're going to assume a goaltender would take a massive discount to play in Detroit, why Thomas? Why not extend the pipedream to is logical conclusion and pick Ryan Miller... much more consistent, much better. Just sayin.

    And yeah, I tore you an asshole. It's fun. Thanks for the post and don't let it deter you.

  6. Well... yeah. I was going to make a comment. Turns out 'Norris stole every bit of thunder from the sky for this one tho. THJ I do believe it is your turn now lol...................

  7. Oh, and where would we be without me posting THJ's comment... it certainly wouldn't be funny as hell. So yep, you're welcome lol.

  8. Bert has been good for about 30% of the games the Wings have played this year. That's better than most people expected, but not good enough for a guy who's been getting top-line minutes all season. The argument that Bert hasn't been hitting people is wrong though. Bert has been defensively solid and he has been laying the body. He's not Franzen as a power forward, but he's not the wilting lily that haters want to call him either.

    Even though Datsyuk has been trending upward, he's still in a slump. The turnovers are happening much less frequently now that it looks like he's got some faith in his line, but I'd like to see him do a lot less dangling at the half-boards. When he comes into the zone, I'd rather he turn it over trying to deke into the middle than turn it over trying to make room for a pass to guys who are covered and don't really look like they're trying to break out of that coverage. (Homer screening the goalie while Datsyuk has it on the half-boards makes absolutely no sense, but it's what he's done all year). For his goal-scoring woes? I don't really care. Datsyuk's not a goalscorer. He should have more than seven to be sure, but if he's creating assists at the 1-2 per night pace, then he's doing exactly what he's supposed to be doing.

    We have good goaltending. That argument isn't worth starting.

    Nick Lidstrom is a +9 for the Wings. The next closest defenseman is Rafalski at +5. It would be nice if Lidstrom would score a goal and provide more assists (his 12 points are currently 20 behind league-leader Mike Green), but I think all things considered, Lidstrom is better defensively this year than he has been in the last several years. That renewed defensive focus has cost him points, but it's kept the Wings in games this year. How many times have you heard Ken and Mickey talk about how the other team's superstar has no shots on net? Who do you think is doing that? Lidstrom is getting fewer chances to jump into the play and get one-timers from well within the blue line because the injuries have forced Detroit to play a completely different type of game.

    Finally, Brad Stuart has been nothing short of awesome for us this year. He's earning every penny of his salary. Heck, he's probably overperforming his salary when you compare him around the league. Did you know Stuart has only ten penalty minutes in more than 23 minutes a game?

  9. god i hope i dont sound like that when i defend Jimmy.

  10. What? Intelligent?

    I wouldn't worry about that.

  11. I wasn't referencing your post JJ. And ill be the first to admit that my Jimmy love transcends thought and understanding.

  12. Shit, sorry then Nick. As a Wings fan, all this being out of the top two spots in the league has me a bit on edge.