14 April 2010

The March to 12: Four Wins to Make it Seven

Meep, meep, motherfucker.

It begins tonight.

Tonight the Wings start their second season. In January, there were doubts we'd ever make it. It seemed to be a steep hill to climb ahead - a daunting task to scratch and claw our way to a 19th consecutive post-season.

That's behind us now. A new journey begins tonight in the desert. The Wings fought hard to get here, and dammit we're stronger for it. Refreshed, rejuvinated, and ready for redemption. Douchey alliteration aside, the Wings are barreling into the playoffs, full steam ahead.

Our first opponent: the Phoenix Coyotes. Oddly enough, the Wings will face a team in which they have a 1/29th ownership interest.  Not only that, but they'll be playing in a barn that usually houses quite a few fans rooting for the Winged Wheel when they come to town.

Yeah, I know. There's been a lot said by Coyotes fans recently about that. (e.g., Bickley at AZCentral.com, or Hair at Five for Howling). They've been pretty upset that a team that helps pay for them has fans that show up to ruin their good time. To them, Glendale, or Phoenix, or wherever the fuck they play, is a hockey mecca - only to be visited by those loyal to the desert dog. How could fans of the Red Wings even dare to show up for a playoff game in which their team is competing!?

Hey... Phoenix:
  • Fucking deal with it.
Listen: Every team in the league has fans of their opponents show up to games. This is especially so in the playoffs. It's something that you've got to deal with. And sure, your team experiences this a bit worse than most. Well... you're in the desert. It's not a good hockey market. It's hard to have a thriving fanbase for a sport played on ice in a place where water doesn't freeze. Don't blame Wings fans - blame your commissioner.

The fact is, tonight Jobbing.com "Worst arena name in sports" Arena is going to have plenty of supporters of the Winged Wheel. If you'd like to establish yourself as a place worthy of a NHL team, perhaps a little less focus on complaining about their presence, and a little more enthusiastic support for your team would help.

Which brings us to the snake. For those of you who have not followed, there's been a movement among Coyote fans to start a new tradition. They've watched as the NHL's reigning dynasty celebrates their second season each year. They've seen us hurl the octopus onto the ice, home and away. They've watched Al swing those beautiful slimy bastards over his head, and heard the Joe erupt in response. They've seen, they've heard, and they're looking for something for their own.

And so was born the idea of Throw The Snake. What better way to counter the octopus than to hurl a snake? Good question. Oooh, I know.
  • Come up with a real tradition.
Yeah. They're planning on hurling snakes. Plastic snakes. Little child playthings. Small toys, easily put in pockets and thrown to the ice. That's almost as cool as an almost 60 year tradition of throwing a formerly living, breathing, octopus. The Octopus signifies the 8 wins it took to win the cup when the tradition was started. The snake? I've got some guesses as to what its zero legs signifies:
  • The chance that hockey can survive in the desert without financial support from actual hockey markets
  • The number of times the Yotes have made the playoffs since 02-03.
  • The number of times Phoenix has made it past the first round of the postseason.
  • The number of Coyote fans that were hoping to draw the Wings in the first round
  • The number of Wings fans that miss Robert Lang
  • The number of Wings fans that don't think its funny that Robert Lang plays for the Coyotes
  • The chance that the desert dogs have of advancing against a downright dynsasty; a healthy, rejuvinated, pissed off Red Wings team.
Go for it. Throw the snake. Or hell, while you're busy chucking children's toys, toss in some Duplos or a G.I. Joe or two. It'll have about as much meaning.

Honestly, I feel for the true Coyotes fans. I'm sure that there are several of you who have followed the team over the past decade and a half. Sticking with a team that has sucked that hard for that long can't be easy. That's got to be especially so in Phoenix, an area where there really aren't that many hockey nuts. I know how it is to root for a team that nobody around you seems to take any interest in. It's frustrating.

But the sad reality is this: you don't live in an area where it behooves the league to have a team. Considering there are cities like Hamilton, or Winnipeg that would welcome a team with open arms, and likely wouldn't require subidization from teams that actually turn profit - it's time to Make it Seven. Unfortuntely for you folks - the Wings are about to help make that happen.

It's the playoffs baby. The march for 12 begins. March on, bitches.


  1. nice Robert Lang reference.

    also do you think that as Brys was a Babcock product in Anaheim that Babs knows his weaknesses?

  2. you touched on the main reason i did not want to play pheonix in the playoffs (other then the fact that even when they were terrible i always remember them giving us a hard time). The team is owned by Gary (do anything possible to screw the red wings) Bettman. You think that goal holmstrom tips in will count? not if his pube fell into the crease it wont. for a team who is on a big roll right now the last thing they need is the momentum raped from under them by that asshat.