25 May 2013

Resurrection: We're back like Jesus... except we waited long enough for you to know we were REALLY dead.

Game 5: Wings vs Toews pube chin.

A visual of my viewing experience: crammed in a building with people I hate, an annoying voice over the PA, a terrible song coming over the building.

Am I stuck in hell?

Yes.

Is that hell the United Center?

No.

I'm stuck inside a Walgreens and it is the worst pain you will know. I can't even find time to take a piss without being beckoned from the speakers above... which I suppose is relatable to hockey at The Joe since you can't take a piss without missing half a period. (First world problems).

Having a grand ole time watching on your big screen? Feel free to tweet me and let me know how its going. Because I'm going to be helping grandma find her depends and junior find the condoms (which he is certain to steal... let's just hope those fuckin things break)

Anyhoo, on to the hockey (which this born-again blog was made for and kinda the reason it died, I honestly don't have an original thought about this crap. So without further filler, here is my forethought on game 5.)

Seems to me like the Wings need to weather the storm that will be the first 5-10 minutes. They haven't been able to push against it all series and I sure dont see a reason that they can prevent it this game.

If they do that, then this is our game. Chicago's will is going to be broken. Toews will cry to his momma, but lucky for him, I know where the menstrual products are... aisle three sir pubeless captain, aisle three.

Seen you in another 2 years. 

J-Rock

30 November 2011

That's More Like It: A six game streak I can get behind

Hey, remember when Jimmy Howard wasn't stopping pucks? Remember how I was all over his shit?

Remember how fucking wrong I was?

Super Jimmah, in is 138th consecutive start, was absolutely solid against Stevie's Bolts. Especially late in the game. Despite an onslaught of odd man rushes and drives to the slot by some of the games most dynamic scorers, Jimmah made save after save, clearly establishing - once and for all - that his birth was the result of a beautiful, orgasmic 19 hour love session between a whole chior of angels and a herd of unicorns on PCP.

Yes. There were other stars of the game. Pavel Datsyuk is a swell fella. We're aware. But because James has displayed such sheer good-at-hockeyness (suck on that Shakespeare) over the past uninterrupted decade of consecutive starts - he deserves a bit of a pat of the back. He convinced us long ago, but he's showing the rest of the world: motherfucker means business.


Wings play again on Friday. Now, our starting netminder has yet to be announced, but there are a couple of facts to help us figure it out:

I think it's a safe bet Super Jimmah's on his way to his billionth consecutive start. Honestly, at this point, I'm almost happy that our beloved netminder has been left off the All Start Ballot. If the write-in campaign isn't successful, it just might be his only night off until he's hoisting #12.

Wings are back on top of the central. That feels much better. Foot to the floor, pedal to the metal, keep on fuckin rolling.

18 November 2011

Cleaning Up The Mess: Where to go now?

Well, we certainly are a bi-polar bunch. In this season we've gone from unapologetically brash with confidence, to certain we wouldn't see another Wings win in our lifetime, to optimistic that we're back on track, to ready to pay someone to snap each of our arms and legs right in half just to have a distraction.

Though... can you blame us? This has been a bi-polar fuck team. 5 wins in a row to start the season. 6 consecutive bed-shittings, thereafter. 4 W's full of offense. 2 L's full of dick smashing fuckitude.

This is supposed to be Red Wings hockey, right? The model of consistency? Over two decades of the same system leading to the same results? Just checking.

So, since we're all pretty convinced that this team is at least playing like a bucket of fuck for the time being, where do we go from here? As a side note: if you aren't sold on the whole "bucket of fuck" thing... well damnit, there's no room for tempered analysis or cautioned reasoning here. So knock it off. I'll wait.

There? Get that stupid smiley shit out of your system? Good.

The team is in need of some kind of shakeup. Three games to Thanksgiving - gut check time for Kenny Holland - and we're fourth (FUCKING FOURTH!!) in the Central. Anybody OK with that? DAMNIT I SAID NO MORE OPTIMISM!

That's better.

So where do we go? A couple of tidbits were tossed around the twitters this evening. Trades and coaching. I mean, that's pretty much it, right? That's all we've got. In my mind, it's time to go with the latter. As much as I'd like to see some kind of super-addition to the roster, I just don't know how possible that is. There just isn't a team on the planet - no matter how many Dale Tallons they might hire - that would be willing to trade anyone who can even pretend to play in the NHL for Jiri Hudler. Fil's a choice... but what the hell kind of GM is just itching to overspend on a guy that everyone's been predicting will "break out" for the last half-decade. The mule is a beast in the playoffs... but if he can't be bothered to give a shit during the regular 82, how can we expect a guy who gets paid to build rosters to care about adding #93?

Nope. If we want a true shake-up, we've got to be willing to truly shake things up. Is there anyone willing to part ways with Datsyuk? If so, can I please have some of your alcohol. I believe you've had quite enough. And maybe I could see getting behind swapping Z for a superstar talent, but there's two problems with that: 1) There's little to no chance we're going to get anything near fair value, considering his relative badassery (most of the time); and 2) That would guarantee a really sad Datsyuk. Who the fuck wants to make Datsyuk sad? That's just mean.

So, for now, trades it is not. That's not to say that I don't expect a trade or addition this season. It's just that right now isn't the time. Around the deadline, the sellers will likely be willing to dish an upcoming UFA for some picks. Now, everyone's hoping they won't be sellers come deadline time.

Including us.

Which is kind of fucked. OK... totally fucked. But the fact remains - if we don't do something, there's a damn good chance we'll be in the sellers column after the All Star break. Ungood.

So if trades are out... I guess that leaves coaching. Granted, I've been saying this for a while - but that shit's got to change. Maybe Babs can wrangle this team back into his pen, get them in line, and have everyone back to Red Wings style hockey. Though... he's been trying that since 2009 and all it's gotten is back to back 2d round outs to the god damn San Jose Fightin' Fuck Nuggets. As I've said before (over, and over, and over) Babs is a great coach - but I don't think he's great for us. Not any more. He has lost this team and he's not getting the most out of them. He hasn't been able to effectively manage a backup goaltender... ever. He continues to insist on dumb shit ideas like falling back and playing a trap with a one goal lead in the friggin second during playoff games against offensive juggernauts. He can't get the team committed to defense, his special teams have sucked a bucket of dong, and his hair is stupid.

OK... that last one isn't true. It's just as glorious as ever.

Still. Go away. Time for some change. Not that that comes without problems. First and foremost, who takes his place? Could Blashill be a diamond in the rough type guy like Bylsma was when he broke into the league? If Curt Fraser was given a team not named the Thrashers, would he manage to win a game or two? Is it OK to drive into Chicago with weapons and take Scotty Bowman hostage, forcing him to coach again at gunpoint?

Fuck. Problems are annoying.

My suggestions? Promote from within. It'd be the cats pajamas if after so many years of being fucked with by coaches, Ozzie got the chance to have the reins. Granted... he'd probably just try and leverage the offer into a job as the bullpen coach for the Tigs.

Chris Chelios might be bothered to take a break from his regimen of getting wasted and driving to the early bird buffet at Old Country Buffet to get behind the bench and call everyone assholes for a while.

Even better? A rotating coaching staff consisting of the Grind Line. At the very least, when Todd McLellan's band of cheapass murderers and dick-noses refuses to stop blasting Howard in the face with a bunch of snow, we'd have a team of coaches climbing over the glass to fuck some shit up.

If The Professor can be convinced to stop agenting (yes, it's a verb now... also Michael Petrella has extraordinary genitals), he's certainly got the mind for the game. This would also be pleasing in a very "fuck off San Jose" way.

But the best idea? Mickey Friggin Redmond. Sure... we'd be coachless for every west coast trip, but the guys have to basically be on autopilot when playing at midnight anyway. Also, no more of those pesky composite sticks. We'd be the only team in the league to have an entire roster play with wooden sticks since composite sticks were invented. Also, we wouldn't have to worry about the penalty kill. Refs would simply stop calling penalties because of the amount of bitching they'd have to endure. And best of all, he'd be able to reach Larry Murphy between the benches to slap him in the mouth every time he won't shut the fuck up about hot dogs.

Make it happen, Kenny. Three games to the quarter mark. Time to figure this shit out.

08 November 2011

Time for Catch-up: Limping Past the Starting Line

Well. This is timely.

OK, OK. So I've essentially missed the entire first fifteen percent of the season. So what? So has Jiri Hudler.

Alright, that was uncalled for. I should know better than to justify my failures by comparing them to the acts of Jiri Hudler. If that were acceptable, the whole world would be full of perverted sexual deviants, the economy would come to a screetching hault because nobody would be doing their damn jobs, and poor Danny Cleary would be perpetually concussed.

Truth is, it's been a busy month. I've moved back to the motherland, bought a viscous attack dog in case anyone from Chicago or Denver happens to walk by my house, and started actively contributing to society as a semi-functioning member of the work force. No excuse, though. I know that there are millions upon millions out there eagerly anticipating the results of the:

WINGED WHEEL'S "WHO'S GOT THE BIGGEST CHARITY BONER" CONTEST

Over the course of the few months that we ran this little contest, we managed to raise close to two grand for the kids. The selfless generosity of Wings fans, and the bitter, spiteful, donations of Hawks fans have really made a difference. I am proud of you bastards, and would like to move in with you all. 

On to the results.

First up: the jersey. As I'm sure you're aware, the jersey signed by Hank Z himself was offered up in a raffle. Those who donated earned entries for each dollar put toward the kitty. Without further ado, the winner is:

  Matt Chichester 
Chicago via Grand Rapids

Good on ya, Matt. Now, here's the challenge. That jersey has managed to raise money for both H2H and Learning Through Giving. See if you can find away to continue to spread its magical glory in a selfless way. Or at least don't let any Hawks fans touch it. I'm just thankful that we don't have to watch it being pissed on by a hobo, or whatever the hell Hockee Night wanted to do...

Finally: The honor and glory.

Well Wings fans, I hate to admit it, but the Hawks beat you out. I don't know the exact numbers, because counting is for nerds. Suffice it to say, it wasn't particularly close. Of course, that has a lot to do with one Hawks fan, who I think we all know deep down loves the Red Wings. This eternal, firey, burning love is evidenced by his gigantic charity boner. This man is the president of awesome, the chancellor of greatness, and the csar of badassery. He made the biggest donation, by far, and as such, is entitled to redesign the banner here, and order up a Winged Wheel song (that will likely take me 15 years to make due to my new workload). Ladies and gentlemen, the man, the myth, the legend:

Jim Deveraux

Jimmy D... claim your prize. Email me at wingedwheelblog@gmail.com and let me know what punishment I must now take. As if watching the wings shit all over the early part of the season isn't punishment enough.

More to come soon, I hope. It's nice that the Wings decided to finally win a game, but I have to say I'm not quite out of the "fuck this" tunnel yet. One win is good... 50 is better. It's going to be a long road ahead to make that happen, and I'm not entirely sure the man behind the bench is necessarily the one to do it. We'll see, I hope I'm wrong. Hell, I almost always am.

Till next time.

03 October 2011

Down To The Wire: Show the love for the children

Finally, it's October.

The Tigers are playing postseason baseball. The Lions are undefeated. Hell, even my Eastern Michigan Eagles have a winning record. Todd Bertuzzi is pissed because he's never had to winterize his cabin on Hell's Lake of Fire before.

Nonetheless, Red Wings hockey is right around the corner. The preseason is done. No longer must we endure the pain and agony of the absolute cocktease that is pretend hockey. Soon the puck will drop and we'll get to the business of destroying the hopes and dreams of 29 other teams. The business of capturing #12. The business of Red Wings Hockey.

Also marked by the start of the regular season: the end of the Winged Wheel Who's Got The Biggest Charity Boner Contest. Up for grabs is a jersey signed by Hank Z, 3 months of your design for the banner of this site, and if you want it, a Winged Wheel original song, topic decided by you. There's still time remaining, and it's down to the wire. Donate to a damn good cause, and show up the Hawks fans who are doing a pretty good job themselves. At the very least, put the cash down to save this hallowed ground from being sullied by the likes of The Bandwagon.

Need a reminder on how to demonstrate your throbbing charity boner? Allow me:

  • Go to the Learning Through Giving Cause Page, join the cause through Facebook, and donate to your heart's content. As the administrator, Mike will record your donation, and secure your entry.
  • If you aren't all hip with the Facebooks, or you just don't want to use it for some reason, you can make a direct donation through the Learning Through Giving Cause Page, without signing in. If you do that, however, you'll need to send your information and the amount you donated to me at wingedwheelblog@gmail.com so that we can record your entry.
  • You can also send a check made out to Genesis Therapy Center (put Schools Program in the Memo line) at the following address:
Genesis Therapy Center
6006 W. 159th St, Bldg. C
Oak Forest, IL 60452
(Again, if you choose to donate this way, send me an email to confirm your entry)

All payments are completely secure, and all donations are Tax Deductible. If you'd like a receipt, just email me and I'll make sure that happens for you. 

All entries before puck drop for the Wings season opener on October 7th against Paul MacLean's moustache will be entered into the contest. 

Email me or inquire on the twitters (@captnorris5) if you have any questions. Also, if you've got something to donate to raffle off as well to sweeten the pot and help entice even more good deeds, shoot me an email and we can put it up.

Also, while you're at it, go ahead and "Like" this shindig on the book of faces by clicking here.

Get to it.

...is it October yet?

Fucking right it is.

23 September 2011

Bad Apples: And other fruit related misery

Well, hockey's back. Kind of.

It's the pre-season. Honestly, I've never been a big fan of the preseason. Sure, it's the methadone that keeps us from scraping our eyeballs out of our faces just as we hit the peak of hockey withdrawal. But the games are meaningless, lacking the emotional punch that fills 82 nights a year. The rosters are a fragment of their regular season selves, so you can't take a team's performance on any given night as a sign of things to come. The games are rarely broadcast properly, sometimes leading to a sickening case of hockey blue balls. Pre-season is kind of like sitting through a shitty warm up band waiting for The Victorious Secrets to blow your mind. It may satiate you for a minute or two, but quickly you're thinking "lets just get this fucking show on the road."

Well, as it turns out, perhaps it would have been better to just skip it this year. In a disgusting show of what is most likely vile racism, an individual in the audience of the Wings v. Flyers game in London, Ontario tossed a banana peel on the ice as Wayne Simmonds was approaching Jordan Pearce for the shootout. Now, there's a possibility that this wasn't a racist statement. Of course, that would require that the John Labatt Centre concession stands break from the norm of selling nachos, beer, and a variety of encased meats to offer fruits to their hockey watching patrons. Assuming the venue hasn't decided to buck the trend, it means the now-infamous thrower brought his fruit from home, chose a banana over a more easily concealable fruit, and just happened to toss it on the ice during the time that the only black skater was on the ice, essentially by himself.

So, yes, it's very likely this act was a flat out display of the kind of ignorance usually reserved for Tea Party rallys and YouTube comments. There's no indication yet as to who the tosser was. Arena authorities failed to catch or identify the responsible party. There is no word on whether the bigot was a Flyers fan, a Red Wing faithful, or a lunatic from London II: The Quickening (if it's good enough for Highlander, it's good enough for city names). No matter. Whatever this person's allegiance, one thing is for certain: he or she is not representative. Rather, he's just a total dick.

Now, as appalled as I am, I must temper this criticism a bit. You see, tonight, the infamous tosser made a statement. I personally strongly believe in the right to free expression, and while I strongly disagree with the sentiment, I will fully defend the right to make such a statement, no matter how vile, disgusting, or offensive it may be.

But only so I can say shit like this:

The Winged Wheel's List of Shit to Say to the Banana Tossing Jagoff
  • A banana? You fucking brought a banana? What, you were sitting at home, angrily masturbating to a black and white photograph of George Wallace, thinking "how can I express my blind rage!?" You took a look at the NHL schedule and figured you'd make a statement. Who can blame you? What better place than a pre-season hockey game, played in neutral territory smack dab in the middle of National Tree Week, broadcast to literally tens of rabid fans? And what better way to express your rage than half eaten fruit? Now, that's how to change the hearts and minds of all the politically correct assholes unwilling to engage in a race war. That'll get them up out of their seats and into the streets. A banana. During the most meaningless part of the most meaningless game of the least popular major sport. 
  • I'm sure it must have taken a great deal of planning to figure out how to get the banana peel in to the stadium. I have to assume you keister stashed it. Then, of course, you threw only a peel on to the ice. Obviously a peel alone would be rather difficult to really get up there. So, logically, you must have used the full banana. Now, a smart guy like you must realize carrying around an unpeeled banana after the deed leaves you exposed to being caught. I guess what I'm trying to say here is that I hope you thoroughly enjoyed yumming down your ass-banana.
  • Speaking of things being uncomfortably positioned up your ass, go fuck yourself with the business end of a framing hammer.
  • I hope the satellite currently plummeting from space breaks into just enough pieces to crash into and violently tear apart everyone you've ever loved. 
  • Considering your intellectual capacity is hovering somewhere around that of a feral dog, I truly hope someone leaves an open bucket of anti-freeze near your residence. 
  • It would prove the existence of a kind and loving God if you developed a grenade sized hemorrhoid that was equally explosive. 
  • Now, I don't mean to imply that I sincerely wish you find yourself facing a very early and painful demise, surrounded by exactly zero people, the sum total of your loved ones, realizing your life has been empty and meaningless, truly coming to the conclusion of what a horrible person you are, devoid of any value but replete with disgusting, hateful bile. No. I mean to say it outright. I hope you die alone.
All that and more. I don't care what color jersey the guy/girl had on, or where s/he calls home. He's a fuckmouth. If he happened to be there supporting the Wings, he failed. Not only that, but he's no true Wings fan. 

No. True Wings fans are those that chip in for a damn good cause. Now, I know Norton Sports is collecting money as a reward to whoever turns in the cocktwat responsible, but let me suggest a better focus for your effort:

That's right, we're still collecting donations for The Winged Wheel's Who's Got The Biggest Charity Boner Contest. Up for grabs is a jersey signed by Hank Zetterberg, and pride and honor for outdonating the Blackhawks. Now, I'll be honest, right now the Hawks are ahead. This means this honorable site's banner is likely going to be molested by The Bandwagon, and you'll have to hear some song dedicated to their bandwagony glory. Ungood. 

So, pony up. Do it quick. By the time the puck drops against The Moustache, the contest will be up. Just as a refresher:


How Can I Demonstrate My Throbbing Charity Boner?
  • Go to the Learning Through Giving Cause Page, join the cause through Facebook, and donate to your heart's content. As the administrator, Mike will record your donation, and secure your entry.
  • If you aren't all hip with the Facebooks, or you just don't want to use it for some reason, you can make a direct donation through the Learning Through Giving Cause Page, without signing in. If you do that, however, you'll need to send your information and the amount you donated to me at wingedwheelblog@gmail.com so that we can record your entry.
  • You can also send a check made out to Genesis Therapy Center (put Schools Program in the Memo line) at the following address:
Genesis Therapy Center
6006 W. 159th St, Bldg. C
Oak Forest, IL 60452
(Again, if you choose to donate this way, send me an email to confirm your entry)

All payments are completely secure, and all donations are Tax Deductible. If you'd like a receipt, just email me and I'll make sure that happens for you. 

All entries before puck drop for the Wings season opener on October 7th against Paul MacLean's moustache will be entered into the contest. 

Email me or inquire on the twitters (@captnorris5) if you have any questions. Also, if you've got something to donate to raffle off as well to sweeten the pot and help entice even more good deeds, shoot me an email and we can put it up.

Also, while you're at it, go ahead and "Like" this shindig on the book of faces by clicking here.

Hustle up. Because damnit, if you don't... the racists win.

...is it fucking October yet?

22 July 2011

Doin' Good: For the kids, for the jersey, and for the hate


Replace "write a musical" with "donate to charity" and it's pretty damn fitting

You know, donating for a good cause can have a lot of pretty awesome side effects. First, it can just make you feel all warm and tingly inside. It can make it that much easier to face yourself in the mirror each morning. It can give you confidence in yourself, and it can even prevent male pattern baldness. True story.

As if that were not enough, we sweetened the pot a bit last week for the Learning Through Giving Cause by throwing in the very good potential to win a Wings jersey signed by Henrik Zetterberg, and the opportunity to exert some creative control over this little shindig we call a hockey blog. Now, not only do you have the opportunity to earn some serious upgrades to the inner monologue that gets you out of bed in the morning during the offseason, but you've got the potential for some badass swag as well.

Oh, but that's not all folks.

I've always thought the one big drawback to charity is that you didn't really get to humiliate anyone with it. As fans of a competitive sport, we're certainly drawn to competition. And as terrible sports, we certainly enjoy mean-spirited trash talk and juvenile gamesmanship. Like pointed out in the above clip, I've always kind of wanted to respond to the idea of charitable acts with, "Yeah, but who versus? Who are we doing it versus!?"

Well, Hockeytown, I've got an answer. 

Recently, the enemy has jumped into this little charitable foray.
"Sounds pretty enticing, eh? Think about it. Your neighborhood bum in a Zetterburg jersey? Maybe laying the jersey out over a puddle for a young lady to step on so she doesn't ruin her shoes? Getting your say of what goes on the banner at a well-read Wings blog? A SONG? C'mon guys, let's get on this. If you'd like the full scoop,please visit the post at The Winged Wheel and please, be generous and open up your wallets and purses for this worthy cause."
Kelly Reardon via Blackhawks Down
And of course:  
"I know, you're thinking...I'm a Blackhawks' fan, why would I want any part of a jersey that represents that Jake Gyllenhaal-lookin' motherfucker?


That's because you're thinking short-game. Imagine the "Crackheads Wearing The Zetterberg Jersey" Tumblr page you could whip up. Or this Halloween you can go to a party as a Red Wings fan, yelling "400 wins! He's a Hall of Famer!", then throw things when people mention shootouts. Hilarity could ensue.


Plus, whoever raises the most dough gets to choose a new header for The Winged Wheel for 3 months. Who among us wouldn't love shirtless Patrick Kane on the header? Or even better, see if we can get pantsless Brent Sopel.


Plus they'll write a song to commemorate the winner. Hell, I can do that - just keep playing E-G-A-C, while singing "Detroit Sucks". Bam, done."
Forklift - via Hockeenight 
Now, I could take this moment to point out that these folks are outstanding human beings for getting behind such a worthy cause. I could note that their generosity of spirit and kindness of character shines through their team allegiance in spades. I could mention how outstanding it is that such a good cause could bring rivals together, like lions lying with lambs (shotgun lion! I get to be the lion!).

OR I could take the childish route. I could just point out that they're only interested in jumping on the bandwagon of this outstanding cause because old habits die hard. Or, I could suggest that the Blackhawks well deserved inferiority complex has created within them a natural impulse to want to be Wings fans, so they take whatever opportunity they can to inch closer to the dream.

Which do you think I'm going to go with?

  • Obviously the one where I'm an asshole, duh.

So what's it going to be, Hockeytown. Are you going to let a bunch of fans who don racist caricatures on their sweaters and actively root for Patrick "screw the working man" Kane out-class you in The Winged Wheel's Who's Got the Biggest Charity Boner Contest?

Or, are you going to rise to the occasion, and continue the tradition of absolutely humiliating the team down 94 by out-donating Chicagoans for a Chicago-based charity?

If I were a betting man, I'd go with the latter.

So, for all you Wings fans, tell your friends, relatives, and random strangers on the street. Donate what you can, and help save me from whatever soul-crushing humiliation that would accompany having to write a song dedicated to the glory of some team that has earned as many Stanley Cups in its 85 year history as Kris Draper has in his 17 year NHL career. Do it for the self-satisfaction. Do it for the Jersey. Do it for the hate.

And for you Hawks fans (all 12 of you), bring it on. Emulate that team you so love to adore and try your damnedest, just to fall into the shadow of Detroit. Donate away. Just know, it's going to take Tallon-esque expenditures to out-charity the Greatest Fanbase in Human Existence. Oh, and if you need a bit of motivation to get those gears grinding, I've put together a short list of some of the super mean things I've said about you in the past.

And oh, there's more. Hopefully that gets you riled up enough to open that pocketbook and furiously throw money at some kids who really need it like Ken Holland in the Ericsson household. 

Bring it on, Bandwagon. And who knows, maybe some brave, adventurous blogger will have the stones to throw his or her own potential humiliation into the deal to sweeten the pot. The gauntlet's been thrown my friends.

This should be a good way to pass the time until October. 

As a refresher:
 


How Can I Demonstrate My Throbbing Charity Boner?
  • Go to the Learning Through Giving Cause Page, join the cause through Facebook, and donate to your heart's content. As the administrator, Mike will record your donation, and secure your entry.
  • If you aren't all hip with the Facebooks, or you just don't want to use it for some reason, you can make a direct donation through the Learning Through Giving Cause Page, without signing in. If you do that, however, you'll need to send your information and the amount you donated to me at wingedwheelblog@gmail.com so that we can record your entry.
  • You can also send a check made out to Genesis Therapy Center (put Schools Program in the Memo line) at the following address:
Genesis Therapy Center
6006 W. 159th St, Bldg. C
Oak Forest, IL 60452
(Again, if you choose to donate this way, send me an email to confirm your entry)

All payments are completely secure, and all donations are Tax Deductible. If you'd like a receipt, just email me and I'll make sure that happens for you. 

All entries before puck drop for the Wings season opener on October 7th against Paul MacLean's moustache will be entered into the contest. 

Email me or inquire on the twitters (@captnorris5) if you have any questions. Also, if you've got something to donate to raffle off as well to sweeten the pot and help entice even more good deeds, shoot me an email and we can put it up.

Also, while you're at it, go ahead and "Like" this shindig on the book of faces by clicking here.